Sunday, August 19, 2007
On Friday night, Marcos and I went back to another property in Thornlie that I quite liked. It was much bigger than the one in Bluebell we had loved and put an offer on, and while it wasn't as nice as the other one, it was freshly painted, needed a little bit of fixing up & cleaning, but apart from that, I felt it would have done us just nicely. It seemed fantastic size-wise, with by far the best cupboards in bedrooms, plus it had a substantial brick workshop that I felt would have been perfect for Marcos to repair computers. So, we filled out an offer for it, but needed my parents to have a look and sign the papers as well.
They went on Saturday morning... and hated it. They refused to counter-sign the offer, so we were back to square one. Mum was determined that she wanted us to live in Success or Atwell instead, as some of her friends assure her they are high growth areas in terms of house-price rising in future years, but we really aren't interested in those suburbs. And so it seemed we were at an impasse - they wouldn't approve anything we wanted to look at, and we were interested in anything they wanted to suggest. *sigh*
I have an email alert set up at realestate.com.au to receive notifications of new listings in Thornlie and surrounds in our price range. On Friday I received a notification of a house in Gosnells that sounded really nice, and as a bonus, had 4 bedroom plus a study in the price range we were looking at, only 4 years old in a very new area of Gosnells, so I thought it might be worth looking at. I forwarded it to dad, who orginally said that mum was adamant she would not consider Gosnells (mind you, she isn't the one who is going to live in the area, we are - I think she forgets that!), so we weren't going to waste our time looking at it.
Then dad phoned this morning to say that we could consider it, since it was in a new part of Gosnells. He advised we should go and look at it, and that he would try to get to the home open too, and then he would look at houses in Canning Vale (we don't want to live in Canning Vale, but ironically, Canning Vale is ok with my mum now - it wasn't when my sister first moved there - because my sister does live there. :P). So, we went, and I thought it was fantastic - I loved it! So I phoned dad to ask if he was going to be able to make it, as I really felt it worth looking at. He was still at home, so I asked if he wanted me to make another time, and he said yes, so I did. I phoned him back to tell him, and heard mum giving an earfull in the background about it...
I had several conversations with Dad during the afternoon, several of which left me in tears, as I was just so frustrated that mum is not the slightest bit interested in what we want. Because Dad is putting in about 40% of the money, she wants about a 90% say in where we live!! Which is typical, but still very annoying nonetheless.
Mum absolutely refused to look at the house, even though I love it. Dad came and looked at it, and agreed that it was extremely nice and would have suited our purposes perfectly. We then looked at a house in Canning Vale that ironically was built to a similar plan (the same plan but with modifications)... and the house in Canning Vale is much more expensive (Dad wouldn't tell me how much it costs) but not a fraction as nice as the one in Gosnells!! The one in Gosnells was just so much classier... the rooms were bigger, the backyard was infinitely nicer, it had extra shelves and benches built in, and the theatre room - wow!!! There is just no comparison between the two houses. But mum absolutely refuses to let us put an offer in on the house in Gosnells. :(((((((((((((((
Ever since then, she has been bitching about us wanting to get above ourselves by getting such a big home that costs more than what we had agreed... completely ignoring the fact that the one in Gosnells IS in the price range, and fulfills all her requirements in terms of nice finishings and loving it.
So now we are faced with a decision... agree to go with the house in Canning Vale, even though we don't like it as much, knowing I will wake up every morning feeling intense resentment for mum not allowing us to get the nicer, better house simply out of spite? Or do we cut our losses, and continue renting somewhere further from the city, such as Armadale, in an effort to gradually save up more money, and look at buying something without their help in say, 10 years time?
Either way, we need to make a decision tomorrow, as our current lease is due to expire in a month, and the property manager wants to know whether we want to extend the lease or not.
Regardless of the choice we make, the damage has been done... mum's whole attitude (especially tonight when we had dinner out with the extended family to celebrate 2 of our nephews' birthdays) has taken me back to how I felt shortly after Ariana is born: I don't want anything further to do with her at all. I just don't want to accept any more of her help, because it is double edged and comes with too much emotional blackmail. So from now on, if I need Ariana to be looked after when I have work meetings, I will hire a babysitter. I am not going to accept any more offers of help - I rarely ask for it, usually she offers, like they offered this time to help us buy a house. We had intended to keep renting, and they were the ones who offered to help us buy a house, and it has ended up causing nothing but distress. No more! We will find a way to do things on our own, so she can never try to control us like this ever again.