SimDragon's Journal

Thursday, September 23, 2004


It's scary to think how little seems to be changing...

My heart is racing again, due to frustration at work and stress at home...

Frustration from dealing with clients who don't know what they are doing, but are determined to go down paths that are really unwise, and like it or not, I get dragged down with them (counselling them against it all the way), and when the shite inevitably hits the fan, the finger of blame tends to get pointed at me...

Frustration from being in meeting after meeting after meeting, not leaving me any time to actually get any work done. Coupled with unreasonable deadlines, it's a recipe for disaster. Thankfully I have organised an additional graphic artist, plus this week I got my offsider, Liz, to come back into work again, but I haven't been able to sit down long enough to write out instructions for them about what I need them to do to make it worthwhile having them here... *sigh*

Frustration with other coworkers, supposedly more senior than me, who drag their feet on the projects I need them to work on, and who lose their specifications and don't read (let alone respond to) emails... I really shouldn't have to sit down with them while they do their work if their title has a "senior" in it, and mine doesn't...!!

Stress from a messy house... unwashed dishes, items that should be filed away but seem to stay out on benches for months...

Stress from a financial situation that should be improving with the budget that is in place, and on paper appears to be, but in reality seems not to..

The worrying thing though is that I don't know what to do about it all...

The immortal words of The Clash sum it up well:

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble

And if I stay it will be double

It's hard to know whether I should hang in there, or cut my losses...

I was grappling over whether to stay in Rotaract or not earlier this year, and it appears that making the decision to stick it out was the right one. But as for my job... I don't know. I don't want to live with heart palpitations and the fact that I have started getting migraines as well is really worrying... I can't keep living this way...

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